there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize