Non-Jews are for practice
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
time to smoke my breakfast
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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