Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize