can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
