It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
