idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
