Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
