K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
