Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
