I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just had sex bonerless
its not stalking. its research.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
