Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize