Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
