Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cannot find my penis.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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