she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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