hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
