Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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