And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
