North Korea, Best Korea!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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