Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
stop calling my apartment porn island.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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