I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
