How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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