Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
