Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
