It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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