i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
