You're a womanizer and a bitch.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's the barista slut.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
