Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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