You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He passed out mid-signature
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
