Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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