were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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