i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
