if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My penis needs a shock collar
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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