she was so not down for the gang bang
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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