dude i'm inner monologue high
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Congratulations! We have a period
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