oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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