smell my finger.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
