I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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