My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize