____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
