Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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