There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
