Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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