the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
