i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
