Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
