Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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