the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
