I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
and she was petting her beer can
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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