Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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