My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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