There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
