I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
