wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
