drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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