Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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