I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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