He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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