I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
