Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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