Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
